A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
