He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
