is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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