What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
