your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
