I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
