We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize