I want to make a zoo with you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
