So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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