Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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