It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
"it" just moved
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
