Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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