fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
