worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
