hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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