At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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