I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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