i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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