Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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