Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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