Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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