I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
