five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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