she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you didnt know i had herpes?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
