could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
