So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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