i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
