my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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