he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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