Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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