she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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