He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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