there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
