I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
