I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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