I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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