I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
