it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
