I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize