The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Fuck appropriateness.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
