The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
