capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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