glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
