We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
