I'm jealous of your bromance
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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