i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
birth control should be required to get into college
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
