4 words: hood of his car
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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