My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
