Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
