Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize