Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
