Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
