So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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