Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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