your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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