You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
