Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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