I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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