omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Found your dick twin last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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